Blank.

"Until you are no longer the pictures that chase me down a flight of screens each night. Until the the part of me that you first touched, forgets."
-I wrote this for you

Fishing.

and there are other fish in the sea, but the only one I want is you.

It's the Little things that are overlooked which really matter.

Circles.

You are my exception. The one that I have changed plans for and my outlook on life for and did not regret it. I have loved you with every molecule of me & given you my everything but somehow it is not enough. The smiles and laughs no longer fill the air, only now stale silence of our stale love, lingers. I can not take this anymore, where did we go wrong? This was all so brilliant and wonderful, now to hear the words that you speak cuts me deep. I wish you cared and i wish it mattered to you how you hurt me, but i can never justify your actions as caring. I wish you took your share of responsibility in all of this but some how I think that is gone along with your love. Why do you insist on putting yourself through this misery you talk about? All I ask for is for you to love me like you once did but as your love fades so does mine and with it my hope for our future. The one we planned in the quiet of the night while tangled in my sheets and in your arms, while you whispered to me, "you're beautiful". How I long for those words now even if they didnt have one ounce of sincerity to them, like they used to be so full of. I am sorry if I am difficult and stubborn, those are qualities that I wish were different and work to improve but I was once told that there is someone out there who will love you despite them, and somehow I thought you could be that nostalgic prince I always read about in the books when I was a little girl. Maybe this is really me? Maybe I'm the one to blame for all this and you dont have to claim responsibility for any of it, but then again that wouldnt be a relationship, would it? But then again what were we even to begin with? I Love You.

Limbo.

"When it struck me that i've been waiting since birth to find
A love that would look and sound like a movie so i changed
My plans and rented a camera and a van and then i called you
"i need you to pretend that we are in love again" and you agreed to..."

I Want So Badly,

. . .to believe that "there is truth, that love is real"
And i want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd
I know you're wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the fear
That your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?

The Wedding

These past few months I have been at my mothers side helping her plan and organize her and my fathers renewing of vows ceremony. There is about one month left and everything is pretty much set in stone except what is proving to be the most important and time consuming aspect; the dress. It only makes sense that the dress would be just as important the second time around as it was the first time. I have accompanied my mom to countless wedding boutiques in search of the dress, but to no avail. So, as a last resort my mom has hired a seamstress to custom make her dress. You would think this is where the mayhem stops with this whole dress issue but, there is the matter of which fabric, measurements, how long, which pattern, lace or no lace, and so on....

It's not like I am complaining I actually have enjoyed heping my mom plan this wedding, I think it's because I wasn't there for thier first one. I just hope for my mom's sake that everything turns out the way she wants it to.

My parents will renew thier vows in Vegas on April 17th, three days before their actual anniversary. The theme of the wedding is Elvis and Priscilla Presley, and my dad will be dressed from head to toe like the King himself; my mom will be classically and stunningly dressed like priscilla with the exception of my moms red hair. It will be a day to remember and possibly forget, if the after party goes as planned.

As for my posting of pictures I am still having technical issues with my computer and being able to get them posted. I will as soon as I get the opportunity. Until then, take care my friends.

Much Love & Happiness,
Madi